They say for how ever long you were with a person, it takes half as long to get over them. Some of my friends were lucky to move on a few weeks after their breakups. But it was never quite like that for me. I would go through my cycle of tears and venting sessions with my close friends. I would go through the phases of denial , then anger, and in time…I would eventually come to a place of forgiveness. But even with that, months would go by, and I would still find myself stuck in that person. So I would result to more drastic measures. I would unfollow on social media, I would rearrange my routes To a void seeing the person, I would delete his number and text threads….you know, all of the practical things that people tell you to do in order to move on. But nothing worked. I would find myself praying to God simply asking Him: Why? Why cant I move on? Why can’t I let go? Why is nothing working? Then it hit me. The problem wasn’t what I was doing, but rather how I was THINKING.
See, I realized that unfollowing on social media, erasing messages and old pictures, etc. were all great ideas in theory, but essentially, they meant nothing because my mind was still a slave to the relationship. Erasing memories did me no good because I kept replaying them while I daydreamed. Unfollowing on social media meant nothing because I spent countless days wondering about who he could be following, who he could betaking to, and who could be catching his interest. Deleting old pictures was purposeless because the idea of those pictures coming to life once again, blocked the opportunity for the images to be deleted in my thoughts. I ultimately had to be honest with myself. And when I did, I realized that God had delivered me from my heartache months ago. He had given me all the tools for me to walk away. I just had to give my mind the courage to do the same. I had to tailor my thoughts to things that were going to uplift me and build me up into the woman I am supposed to be. Instead of dwelling on the past, I had to make space to embrace the future. I had to stop thinking about what could be with the wrong person, and start preparing myself for what WILL be with the right person. When I finally allowed my mind got be free of the situation, I finally felt the very freedom that I was praying for rush over me. And I finally realized that there was no “matter” too strong for my “mind”.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand why our thoughts are the last to leave our relationships. But you have to remember that your mind is your greatest weapon. Don’t waste it on what has been and what will never be. Instead channel it towards the things and people that are going to propel you further into your purpose and your destiny. Because once we change our minds, we change our thoughts. And once we change our actions, we change our direction. And once we change our direction, we eventually change our lives. So as you’re moving on remember thats it good to be out of sight, but the true beauty of closure, is moving on in your mind.