When I was little, there was this special African dish my mom used to make for me. As much as other family members would attempt, no one seemed to make it as well as she did. I remember how the taste melted more and more in my mouth with every bite. It was perfectly seasoned with spices that she grew herself. It always had just enough moisture and every time I finished a plate, I found myself in the kitchen scraping the pot for more. She took her time when she made the dish…you could tell. It was never too much or not enough…it was always just right.
One holiday break in college, while I was heading back to Houston, all I could think about was the taste of that dish. But when I called my mom to see if I could convince her to make me a plate, she crushed my food craving dreams by telling me, “Be patient, I’ll make it tomorrow.” At the time, I couldn’t understand why she was being so difficult. Usually, it’s no problem. Why is this time so different? Normally I would’ve just ordered a pizza or some sort substitute and called it a day. But this time was different. I was determined to eat that meal, even if it meant cooking it myself..so that’s exactly what I did. And twenty minutes into chef mode, I realized why my mother told me to be patient. There wasn’t enough oil, so the moisture was replaced with a dry rubbery texture. All the seasoning had run out, so the flavor was far from tasty. And there wasn’t enough meat to make the dish…so the meal was far from filling. And as I sat there, forced to eat my dry, tasteless, and inadequately proportioned meal, I had to ask one question…”What was the rush?”. If I had just exercised patience and waited like my mother advised me, I would’ve once again enjoyed the beautiful dish that I always had in the past. But because I chose to let impatient settle my battle, I did exactly that…settle.
See, that’s how some of us are with relationships. A lot of times God is telling us to wait. He’s telling us that it isn’t a good time…he’s telling us that we aren’t ready. But we get so hungry and so adamant….we get so caught up in our yearnings for companionship and “love”, that we rush it. God is trying to tell us that there’s still a few ingredients that we are lacking within our selves before we can handle a relationship. There’s still areas within us that He wants to develop. There’s still things about ourselves we need to realize, change, or let go of. But Instead of taking the time we need, we choose to fill up our moments of loneliness with whatever comes our way. And as a result, instead of enjoying the beautiful union of love that God has designed for us, we end up settling for a relationship that is “dry, tasteless, and inadequately proportioned”.
I know it’s hard. Just as I could imagine the taste of mom’s special dish melting in my mouth, I know that’s how you envision love…and you’re getting tired of waiting on the day when it will finally be your turn. But instead of looking at what you’re lacking while being single, take the time to imagine all that you have to gain. Learn to date yourself. Explore what makes you happy…what inspires you…what motivates you. Explore some of life’s favorite seasonings and spice things up life for the better. You have such an opportunity to embrace growth and self reflection. You have an opportunity to fill yourself up with the best. But the more you let yourself fall to the temptation of impatience, the less you’ll be able to appreciate your the blessing that God has waiting for you.
So be patient. Fight your urge to jump into something for the meantime, and wait for the lifetime reward. Fight your urge to settle for good, so that you’ll be ready for the best. Your time is coming…and when it does, it’ll be the exact opposite of dry, undercooked, or inadequately proportioned.
It’ll be just right. ❤️