I had a friend that loved projects. In school, there was always this excitement that would come over her every time the teacher announced we would be doing any creative activity…especially if it was an individual assignment. And if it was a group project, I never bothered trying to work with her, because I knew half the class would be over at her desk begging to work with the girl who would gladly do all the work and guarantee them an A. She used to go around the house, her neighborhood, and even the local Goodwill to find things that were broken in hopes of turning it into something new. When the project was complete, sometimes she’d place it in empty spaces in her room, sometimes she would sell it, and sometimes she would simply just give it away. As we got older, she started putting that same mentality in her relationships. She was somehow always attracted to guys that had “potential”…she liked guys she could fix up…she liked guys that needed her. It made her feel important, like she was tackling a project no one had the guts to commit too. And just like when we were kids, she would give every project all she had until it was complete. She would revitalize their perspective on life. She would teach them how to love a woman. She would take their wounds and brokenness and try to make them whole again. She was patient as they learned how to communicate. She was there when the only thing they had in life was her. She helped boys mature into the men they wanted to be. She always saw her projects until the end. But these kind of projects were different than the ones she took on as a kid. With these projects, she never received a grade for her work. She never sold her projects to the highest bidder, and she never got to keep them. Instead, they left…and took all of her hard work with them. And with each project, she watched as someone else enjoyed the finished product she worked so hard on.
A lot of women take on projects for relationships. They gravitate towards potential rather than a man who is ready because potential calls for need. And feeling needed means feeling important. Not only that, but deep down they feel it’s the closest thing to true love they’ll get. So they take on another project. They figure since they can’t fix the issues they have within themselves, they attempt to fix someone else’s. So they take on another project. They take on project after project, with the hopes that one day, one of those projects will stick around to be displayed in an empty place in their heart…just like the projects on display in the empty spaces of my friends room.
But you have to remember that you are not a fixer. Not because, you can’t or because you won’t, but because that’s not your job….that’s not what you are. What you ARE is someone’s wife, you are someone’s wish upon a star, you are someone’s prayer at night. You are someone’s reason for smiling, you are someone’s motivation to keep going. You are someone’s everything. But every time you pursue another “project”, you’re shy yourself away from experiencing the love you were destined to experience. Stop compromising what you deserve for what you THINK you can get. Stop settling for a project when you deserve a finished product. Instead of trying to fix someone else, start fixing yourself. Fix your thoughts, fix your self worth, fix your mind. Be your own project. Learn to maximize your own potential. Focus on making you a better you for YOU. When you do that, you won’t have to worry about feeling needed, you won’t have to worry about a man giving himself to someone else, you won’t need a project to feel love. Because you’ll have so much love for you that you’ll attract your equal…you’ll attract someone that wants to compliment you and build you up in the same way that compliment him. You’ll attract what you were destined for.
So stop chasing projects filled with potential, so that way, a finished product can come chase you.