Man Tip Monday: Men, Be intentional.
A lot of guys fall into the habit of being ambiguous in what they actually want when they have interest in a woman. Its the reason why there’s this new age culture where people are “talking” for months upon months without ever getting into a real relationship, and why “it’s complicated” has become a valid relationship status. Just simply “having feelings” for a woman is not enough. I mean, think about it, everyone has some kind of feeling towards everyone. The question is what do you plan to do with those feelings? How are you going to show that your feelings for her are special and have purpose? Women like men who know what they want. And most importantly, women like men who know what they want out of a relationship. A woman’s time is valuable, and with all the fish in the sea out there, she would rather not waste her time on a man who is unclear with his motives..or even worse, has no motives at all.
Every step you take romantically with a woman no matter how big or small, should have a purpose. It should show her that 1.) you’re serious about her 2.) you’re making an effort 3.) y’all have a future.
Now maybe you don’t know how to be intentional, because you’ve never had to be before. But this time, you’ve found a girl that’s different. She’s worth all the intention you can possibly give. In law school, we are always presented with these hypothetical fact patterns, where the professor will give us an example of how a certain law would be applied. Well, here’s one for how to be intentional: Let’s say a guy meets a girl. She’s beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, and someone that he could actually see himself with. So he introduces himself to her, he takes the necessary steps to get to know her, he befriends her…he finds out what her interests are and pays attention to things she likes and doesn’t like. He asks questions and listens and watches for answers. Then, he begins pursuing. (If she’s receptive) He takes her on dates, he engages in consistent conversation with her, and he states his hopes for a potential relationship in the near future. Not only that, but his actions show it as well. He doesn’t say he wants a relationship, yet acts like he wants to be single. He makes it a point to not only get to know her, but to also get to know her family, her friends, and the people that matter to her…because he knows that if he wants to one day love her, he has to learn to love them as well. He focuses not just on being with her in the present, but gradually works towards strengthening their future. That my fellow gentleman, is how to be intentional. That’s not just how you get a woman, but that fellas, is a glimpse on how you keep her.
If a special lady was in the back of your mind while reading this, challenge yourself by showing her your intentions for y’all’s relationship with both your words AND your actions. If not, you leave the door open for her to find someone who will.