Post #16: What Will You Allow? 

A guy will only do what you allow. Remember that. It’s easy to put the blame on the guy. And sure, they should take some of the blame. He takes you for granted, he flirts with other women, he talks to you in a way that is beneath the woman you are, and his actions just don’t show the love he claims he has for you…in fact it shows the opposite. So, you blame him, and you’re absolutely right, he does deserve some blame. But what blame do you take in this? You have to recognize the fault you have in the equation. By ALLOWING him to treat you a certain way you are carrying just as much blame as him. In fact you carry more of the blame, because you KNOW you deserve better. Me personally, I’ve allowed tons of stuff I was uncomfortable with. However, over time I learned that if you give someone the liberty to get away with things, they will continue to do so. So if you let a behavior go on without properly addressing it, even though you don’t mean to, you are indirectly saying: It’s okay. How can you expect a person to treat you better when you are silently condoning their behavior? That’s like a sick person wanting to get better but refusing to take medicine. See the contradiction? Stop solely blaming him for his behavior when you constantly put yourself in position to accept it. If you don’t give your significant other the opportunity to take an inch, they won’t take a mile…they won’t be able to. YOU have to reclaim responsibility of how you are treated, and take ownership of how you feel! If you give that power to someone else, you are comprising your own happiness and self worth. You are giving someone else the discretion to determine what you deserve when the decision is not up to them. Especially since we all know you deserve the best.    If he does something that comprises your relationship, respectfully address it not just by words, but with your actions. A big part of loving ourselves is censoring what we choose to take in our lives. Start censoring what type of treatment you will allow with your partner. If it’s not the best, don’t be afraid to tell him that’s it’s not good enough for you. When you do that, he will do one of two things: Give you the best, or find someone who will settle for less. Unfortunately for him, that person is not you. Remember, if he can’t learn to respect you in your presence, let him be forced to respect you with your absence.
—-LifeOnLOC

POST #16

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