Even the strongest of the strongest women get “the itch”. It tends to creep up on us as soon as we see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been a while since you and your significant other have parted ways and all of a sudden, you’re at this “itch” stage where you’re wondering what they’re doing, random thoughts of them suddenly pop up in your head, and the itch of missing them creeps all over your body. The itching gets so bad that you start to question if you made a mistake by leaving, even though deep down, you know you didn’t. But the itch makes you feel lonely, almost as if you need him. Since leaving caused the itch, you feel like getting back with him is the only way to make it go away. But it’s not really him that you miss. You miss the late night phone calls that lasted until 2am talking about nothing, the tight hugs that he gave you when you were sad or had a long day, and the little annoying things he would do just to purposely make you mad. You miss the way you would fight and make up, the smell of his cologne, the kisses on the forehead, the dates, the intimate moments, and the way he looked at you when you felt like no one else could see you. You aren’t itching for him, you’re itching for the IDEA of him. You’re itching for what he once meant to you and what he once represented in your life. You’re itching for your past to once again be your present. But are you itching for the things that tore you all apart as well? Do you miss the distance that has formed between yall, the disrespect, the lies, or the moments of unhappiness that brought you to this point in the first place? Are you itching for that too?
Don’t allow the itch of wanting the idea of a man, to get you caught in the quicksand of the reality of a man. We are so quick to jump back into situations that we have no business in simply because we don’t trust ourselves to fight through the itch. You confuse moments of walking down memory lane with loneliness; and because loneliness is one of your biggest fears, you flirt with the idea of rekindling a flame that will never ignite.
Missing him or her is normal. It’s apart of the long and hard process of moving on. But each time you allow your past to comfort you in your weak moments, you’re making the decision to stay stuck right there…in the past. Remember that “missing someone” and “memories” are just fancy ways of decorating what was, the former, and the yesterday. Love is active, it’s current, it’s now! Love is not to be “missed”, because if it’s true, it could never leave! Of course you appreciated the good moments you all shared, and the beauty of those moments can never be taken away, but that is the past and its time for you to focus on the present. Trust yourself to fight through this uncomfortable, nostalgic itch, and even though you can’t see it now, remember that one day…you want to scratch anymore, because true love won’t let you. ❤️