I think we all have TONS of associates, but rarely does anyone have a lot of friends. I am not talking about the people you say hi to, engage in small talk with, or the people you turn up with on Saturday nights. I am talking about your truest of friends. The ones that know you in and out…and have been there through the good, bad, and the ugly. In fact, it’s so rare, some people only have one. However, just like any relationship, friendships are a true test of character. We all love our girls (and Homies) when times are good.
But the question is, how do you handle your friendships when they’re not so peachy? What do you do when the girls nights out and the bae-update talks don’t suffice anymore?
On a deeper level, how do you deal with a friendship that’s growing apart? Or when your friend hurts you? What’s the best thing to do when you feel that you are alone in your friendship? Or when you feel you aren’t getting out as much as you are putting in? Maybe you haven’t experienced these transgressions in your friendship specifically, but you have experienced trying times with your friends. We all have.
In college, my two best friends and I were thick as thieves. I thought nothing could tear us apart, Until something did…life. After three years of friendship coupled with the growth and experiences that happen while being in college, we started changing. Although we were making the necessary changes we needed to make for ourselves, we neglected to apply necessary changes to our friendship. Slowly but gradually hanging out just wasn’t the same anymore…because we weren’t the same anymore. None of us wanted to compromise, and we were too proud to discuss the pain we all caused each other. So instead of being the adults we claimed to be, we ignored the situation…and each other. In result, we missed out on almost a year of friendship. It got to the point where I was convinced that we would never speak again and I was preparing myself to be okay with that. Luckily, God saw our fate differently. Somehow he simultaneously put all of our pride and hurt to the side, and we were able to mend a friendship that was dear to all of us. We needed that year of distance to truly mature as individual women. The time apart helped us realize that even though we are strong alone, we needed the support of each other. We realized that our differences weren’t worth loosing a great friendship over. If you ask me, I think it strengthened us. And although it was tough it made our bond all the more stronger.
Moreover, If you’ve spent your whole life looking for the perfect friendship….Stop now, it won’t happen. Your friends will disappoint you, they will annoy you, and will be flawed. You as a friend, will do the same. Along with that, however, your friends will lift you up when you’re down, they will tell you the truth, they will make you laugh till you cry, they will accept you, and they will love you. And you as a friend will also do the same. Not everyone will be able to live up to the responsibility of being a true friend, hence why inner circles are usually small. Nevertheless, no matter how tough things are between you and your friends, don’t let time and memories pass you by over a relationship that could have been mended by a simple conversation. So if there’s a friend, that’s been in the back of your mind lately, hit them up and start the process of moving forward. Remember true friends are like classics, there’s nothing like them.
: David Sherif Abdou